Befriending an EX-Lover

Nung isang araw, I wrote something that could at least ease out the burden that my friend is having regarding her ex wanting to be friends with her. After they broke up kasi, the guys sort of think that everything went back to normal and that they could be friends, without even considering that he caused my friend pain. For me that is just absurd! For me para maging magkaibigan kayu ulit ng dati mong partner/boyfriend, you should be both ready, because this may open up another connection between you eh. Lalo na, the fact that naging magkarelasyon kayu could not be ingnored. Maganda man ang intentions nyo about being friends, but the question would be “if you are even sincere enough about your intentions of being friends? Friends lang ba o baka naman you want to win her back?”

In my own experience , it was possible enough for me and my ex-lover to be friends. Nung una, parang awkward ang lahat and hindi ko pa feel, but I decided to give it a try. Then my feelings for him went back and I was hoping that we could still be together AGAIN. See yan yung sinasabi kong obstacle about this move. Madaling sabihin, pero NAPAKAHIRAP i-execute! So time passes,  and the connection we have remained to be friends. On the process  though, I was still expecting the same agenda. The good thing is, my ex-boyfriend remained true to what he said and gave me bounderies on what we can  and what we cannot do together. The first time kasi kahit hindi na kami eh we still have sex. Sabi nya sa akin, since we decided to be friends again, I expect no sex from and you from me. Fair enough for me to stand. However, due to attachement issues I have, the idea is giving me a hard time. Ang hirap kayang pigilin ng libog lalo na kung alam mong magaling sya (well on that note, this blog is now rated SPG LOL).

As time passes, I began to endure the lust that I feel towards him. Second thing I had worked on to make the “FRIENDSHIP” possible is to control my emotions towards him. Sweet kasi tong taong to, madalas kong napagkakamalan ang sweetness nya bilang isang sign na gusto nya maging kami ulit. So I asked him and said, do you want us to be together again? He said wholeheartedly na “NO. You deserve a better partner than me.” It sunk into me that he was really decided on that “friend relationship agenda.” I then realized that since he is making SO MUCH EFFORT to make the friendship work, ako din dapat eh gumawa ng mga bagay bagay para mawork out eto. It’s really similar to having a romantic relationship work, but the difference is that this does not involve intimate emotion.

At first my hopes on getting back together was fabulously HIGH, but his effort is flawless. I decided to finally get over the idea “NA PWEDING MAGING KAMI ULIT.” Things began to turn over between us. Days went by so easily and comfortably. Madami kaming nagawa na hindi naman nagawa while we were together. Naging masaya kami, and the friendship continues until now. We still hang out together, although ngayon eh di pa kami nagkikita ulit. Hahahaha. But open communication naman na ulit. He updates me about his agenda, kahit ako di masyado sa kanya. Unfair ko noh?! LOL

So for my friends who asked me if two ex lovers could be friends? My answer is: it is possible but only if two of you are willing to work on the friendship. Syempre, you have to set aside those ulterior motives that you had.

Naalala ko yung sinabi sa akin ng bestfriend ko, “The love that you shared with your ex is always gonna be there. It will never be gone. Thing is dapat hindi mo na sya gawing mundo mo. In short, cope up and adjust to the situation.” If you can’t keep him/her as your lover, I guess it’s wouldn’t be that hard to keep him/her as a friend.

Introductory to  “Falling In Love with your Best Friend.”

This is an ideal relation that could possibly upgrade to a romantic connection. Although, thing like friendship could actually be sacrificed. I once fell in love with my bestfriend and he turned me down. He decided to retain the friendship instead. Masakit pero I have to live with it and accept it…….

Friends?! Baka May ULTERIOR MOTIVE?!

We all have our own coping mechanism on things; there are those people who can move on in a snap of a finger. There are those who take forever to realize it’s over. It doesn’t really matter how fast or slow you can cope up. The important thing is you are coping.

                There’s this friend of mine, a GIRL (yes babae sya and she is special to me.) She is undergoing what we call the moving on stage. This stage is somewhat hard, especially the process. I won’t take long explaining the process but here’s a brief order of it for me: DABDA

D – Denial – the stage where you deny the fact that the relationship is over.

A – Anger – you slowly realize what he did, and you get angry.

B – Bargaining – you start to realize that there is still possibilities of being together and you try to bargain.

D – Depression – this stage is where you can be all sorts of stupid.

A – Acceptance – the freedom from all the attachments and feeling you had.

The above description are my own and nothing is official. Haha. In lieu with this friend I have. I have been telling her to adjust on the situation. I have told her na tapusin nya muna ang mga bagay bagay between them. Kasi ang gusto ng ex nya eh maging friends sila. For me that is possible but it’s also bullshit!

               
Again it will only be possible if you are trying to make friends with your ex kung wala na itong ulterior motive na magbalikan kayu ulit. Simple lang naman sagot sa mga bagay bagay eh. “IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY THEN STOP PONDERING ON THINGS THAT MAKES YOU SAD.” Gawin mo kung anu ang dapat, mali man eto sa paningin ng iba, well who cares?! Kung yun ang makakatulong para maibalik ka sa ayos then just go with it.

               
Be blunt with him, be rude with him, it’s alright. We are humans, we all make mistakes, but let’s not make our mistake a definition on who we are. Mahalaga dyan eh, maging okay ka para magpatuloy na maging masaya.

              
Maikli lang po ang buhay, seize every moment para maging masaya ka. Don’t complicate things, and don’t let your emotions eat you up. Be sane!

                It’s really sounds so naïve that you know how you hurt someone and acted like nothing happened. Come on makonsensya ka naman. Nasaktan mo sya, bigyan mo naman sya ng time para magheal bago ka umeksenang maging friends kayu ulit. (Message ko sa ex ng friend ko.)

This is really all I can say about it. I don’t wanna be one sided about the issue. As a matter of fact, gusto ko din malaman yung side nung lulurchips (lalaki) para mabalance ko judgment ko.

“LET’S ALL STAY HAPPY AND FORGET NEGATIVE THINGS.” HAKUNA MATATA….mamatay lahat ng NEGA! CHARAUGHT!

               

The Beginning…

I have been working for 4 years now as a BPO representative. I started this kind of job when I was 18. I wasn’t able to finish the tertiary level of my studies. Although working was fun, it also has times when you feel frustrated about things. I always think na sana eh grumaduate muna ako bago ako nagwork. This has been my only complain to my parents, but I really couldn’t blame them for making me stop college. Biktima kami ng kahirapan, and it would only be selfish of me if I continue college, knowing that my family wouldn’t be able to eat three times a day. So from then on I decided to go and find work.

This is how my call center life started…

I was rehearsing for a cheer dance competition, and then my mother called and asked how I was doing at school. I replied and proudly said that I am seriously making time for my school works while I am in a dance crew at our alma mater. My Mama was so proud of me. The next day my Mama called again,  I greeted her “Happy Birthday Mama!”. She was so amazed at how energetic I was that day. Then she paused and asked me if I could go back to my hometown in Pangasinan. I said “Opo makakababa po ako mamaya dyan, tatapusin ko lang yung rehearsal naming.” At first I was thinking that she would’ve missed me that much that she requested me to go home.

So I went home, I was surprised that they all looked like they are into something really worse. I started to feel weird and awkward seeing their faces like that. I asked them “ Oh! Anu problema nyo bakit kayu parang tnaga? (while laughing). Sabi ni Mama, “kasi ganito yun anak. Nagtry kasi akong mag-apply sa call center work…..” I already had an idea what’s going to happen and said “TAPOS…” She smiled and said, “Hindi ako nakapasa eh.” My dad and brother laughed at my Mama and she joined na din afterwards.

While eating supper, she asked me if I could join her to go to someplace. I said yes! I was clueless where we were going. Then I saw this signage that said “ Now Hiring Agents”. Right there and then it sunk in that she would like me to apply for the post. I was shocked and “ Mama anu ginagawa natin dito? Mag-aapply ka ulit?” She laughed and said “ hindi anak, ikaw ang mag-aapply.” I gazed at her and said “Seryoso ka? Eh panu pag-aaral ko?” she looked at me and said “hihinto ka muna anak, at hindi na natin kaya.” I was speechless and I don’t know what to say. So I thought, sige subukan ko na lang. It was my intention not pass the application process, so I could continue studying (kasi nga naman eh scholar ako ng school that time). While doing the listening test, it hit me that although I wasn’t paying my tuition I would still need to come up with my board and lodging expenses, in which I do not have the liberty to have.

Nagturn over ang decision ko from not passing the application process to at least trying the possibility of the BPO industry. So the process went on and from 70 aspiring candidates, we were down to THREE! Tatlo na lang kaming natira (to think some applicant had experiences from other BPO companies huh.)

I was on my final interview and this American guy who was interviewing me was so handsome. He is a drop dead gorgeous almost demigod ang dating ni kuya. I smiled at him and he began asking  me questions. We went on and on, then it was done. He said “We will just call you to confirm if you got the ob or not.”

I was still hoping na sana hindi ako makuha sa work. So we head back home, my mom asked me to go back to Baguio and packed all my things.

So I did, and said all my goodbyes to my friends and professors. After that natanggap ko na yung confirmation and my schedule contract signing. It was September 18, 2008, they scheduled me to have my contract signing at September 23, 2008. Good thing na ganun yung nangyari kasi it was my 18^th birthday nung 09/22/2008.

Ibig sabihin lang nun eh on the first day of my 18^th year as a person living on this planet eh I had my very first exclusive contract at a BPO Company in Pampanga. There…. So it began…