To My Dearest Nanay Emay! I LOVE YOU!

The first thing I learned from Nanay is to pray the "Apostle's Creed". She taught me different prayers. Nanay built a STRONG belief in GOD in me. Although sometimes I stray, whenever I visit her, whenever I see her strength through the years, all those doubts and fright I felt just go away. The very life lesson she showed to everybody is SELFLESSNESS and CARE to others without expecting anything in return. She is the epitome of MARTYRDOM, relatives, grandchildren and her children should know this.

Her SMILE reminds me of HOPE.
Her SWEETNESS reminds me of JOY.
Her EYES reminds me of STRENGTH.
Her LIPS reminds me of GOODWILL.
Her TOUCH reminds me of LIFE.
Her VOICE reminds me of FORGIVENESS.

HER LIFE REMINDS ME OF EVERY GOOD THING LIFE COULD POSSIBLY OFFER.

She lived a simple life, yet you can see in her eyes that she is happy. She was never extravagant about things, yet contented. She live a not so normal life, yet she manages to stay strong and smile at the end of the day. Her ever ending love to her family served as an inspiration to all of us to strive and alleviate this situation. I love you Nanay!

All this time I was SOUL SEARCHING, with her demise, I did not just found the SOUL I was looking for, but I found inspiration and reason to fight for my DREAMS. It is said that "EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON". Whatever reason this may be, remember Nanay that we loved you and we will always LOVE you even if you are not here.

DEATH IS NOT THE END, IT IS THE BEGINNING of ETERNAL LIFE.

Rest In Peace Nanay Emay (Maxima Tuliao Clores)

- created and dedicated by Steaven Velasco Clores to my loving and most thoughtful and caring LOLA EMAY! I will miss you, but I will SMILE for I know that you will be watching over us. I love you Nanay!

Panalagin Para sa CYBERGGEDON!

Nagsimula na ang MADILIM na kabanata ng internet generation. Nawa'y patnubayan tayu ng mga trapong senador at politiko. Nawa'y maging halimbawa tayu ng "isang mamayang walang boses at walang karapatang ihayag ang damdamin sa mga paraang tulad nito. "

Inuulit ko po, na sana ay maging maganda ang kalabasan nito. Dahil kapag nagsimula ang Martial Law, na sa tingin ko eh malapit na, sana naman eh lahat tayu ay may nagawa man lang. Hindi man tayu napakinggan ngayon, ako po ay patuloy na nananalangin sa Diyos na lahat ng eto ay lumipas na at ang mga lider natin ay ituon ang pansin sa mga BAGAY NA MAS MAHALAGA.

Nawa'y ang CYBERCRIME LAW na eto ay syang sagot sa mga kumakalam na sikmura't naghihirap na mamayan. Nawa'y makatulong din eto sa pagpapaunlad ng edukasyon ng MAMAYANG PILIPINO.

CREATED BY: STEAVEN CLORES 12:39 AM Manila Time

Please share!

"Sean" Isang Istorya!

Unang Yugto: Ang Pag-Amin

This story is an excerpt from my own experience. However, due to some cybercrime law, I will be presenting this whole story with some touch of fiction attack. Character names are not necessarily connected to the person I will be including in this blog. Enjoy reading!

Setting: Baguio City, Philippines

Characters:

 Mart – The Best friend

Sean – The main character

Mike – lover ni Mart

Nagsimula ang lahat sa isang application sa trabaho at dito rin nagkakilala sila Mart at Sean. Naging magkasabay sila sa mga bagay bagay sa kompanyang pinapasukan nila. Si Mart ay kasalukuyan noong may karelasyon ang pangalan nya ay Mike.

Masaya si Mike at Mart na magkasama, habang si Sean naman ay malugod na sinusuporthan ang kanyang kaibigan sa kanyang relasyon. Naging masaya ang samahan nila Sean at Mart. Ngunit ng ipakilala ni Mart si Sean kay Mike ay medyo napansin ni Mart na may konting ilangan sila Sean at Mike. Well syempre unang pagkikita, normal lamang na ganoon ang maramdaman nila sa isat’ isa.

Isang taon ang nakalipas at lahat sila ay galak na galak sa pagsasama nila. Si Mart at Mike ay masayang namumuhay kasama si Sean. Close na sila Sean at Mike, na ikinatuwa naman ni Mart.

Ngunit may isang sikretong inililihim si Sean na maaaring makasakit kina Mart at Mike. Nagmunimuni si Sean sa mga nangyayari at nais nyang itago na lang ang sikreto nya hanggang hukay. Subalit sa mga sumususunod na mga buwan eh mukhang lahat ng bagay eh naging komplikado.

Nalilito si Sean kuung anu ang gagawin nya. Mahal na ni Sean si Mart at ayaw netong masaktan si Mike. Sobrang nahihirapan na si Sean sa sitwasyon nila dahil nasasaktan syang makita si Mart at si Mike na masaya habang siya ay nagdurusa.

Isang hapon, inimbita ni Sean si Mart para magkape. Pumayag naman si Mart dahil wala naman silang naitalagang lakad ni Mike. Nung hapong din yon eh nagpasya si Sean na sabihin na kay Mart ang itinatago nyang lihim na pagtingin.

Nanginginig si Sean at parang ayaw na nyang sabihin pa kay Mart ang bagay na kanyang itinatago. Well Sean took his courage into the next level and blurted out what he feels toward Mart. He said to Mart that he loves the person. Sean was expecting an awkwardness between the conversation, but there were no such awkwardness felt kasi nga nung sabihin ni Sean kay Mart ang feelings nya eh tinawan lang eto ni Mart at sinabi kay Sean na “Mawawala din yan. Marerealize mo din soon na di mo ako kailangan at pagtatawan mo lang yang feeling nayan.”

Sean was shocked about the response that he got from Mart. Although naisip din ni Sean na mas okay na yung reaction ni Mart na ganun kesa magkailangan pa sila. Sean was expecting Mart to tell Mike about his discovery. At yun pa ang mas ikinatakot ni Sean. Pero relieved na din si Sean dahil nasabi na nya ang matagal na nyang dinadamdam.

Naisip ni Sean na baka sugurin sya ni Mike at pagsasampalin. Well paranoid Sean is expecting the worse. Naisip nya na baka kahit okay kay Mart na may feeling ang best friend nya sa kanya eh baka naman masamain ni Mike eto. Dumaan ang mga araw at mukhang naging cold ang pagsasamahan ni Mart at Mike. Natakot si Sean na baka sya ang dahilan ng lage nilang di pagkakaunawan.

Well, hindi naman eto nabrobrought out ni Mart kay Sean at takot din magtanung si Sean about the situation. Since things are slowly going to a downward spiral eh nagpasya si Sean na tigilan muna ang palagiang pagbobonding nila ni Mart.

Ngunit after several weeks eh nabalitaan ni Sean na naghiwalay si Mart at Mike. Nagulat si Sean at di nya matiis kamustahin ang kalagayan ni Mart. Nahihirapan si Mart sa mga nangyayari sa kanila ni Mike at mukhang nakadagdag pa ang pag-amin ni Sean about his feelings.

“Eto po ang simula ng isang nobela ng buhay ni Sean. Abangan po ang susunod na yugto.”

Befriending an EX-Lover

Nung isang araw, I wrote something that could at least ease out the burden that my friend is having regarding her ex wanting to be friends with her. After they broke up kasi, the guys sort of think that everything went back to normal and that they could be friends, without even considering that he caused my friend pain. For me that is just absurd! For me para maging magkaibigan kayu ulit ng dati mong partner/boyfriend, you should be both ready, because this may open up another connection between you eh. Lalo na, the fact that naging magkarelasyon kayu could not be ingnored. Maganda man ang intentions nyo about being friends, but the question would be “if you are even sincere enough about your intentions of being friends? Friends lang ba o baka naman you want to win her back?”

In my own experience , it was possible enough for me and my ex-lover to be friends. Nung una, parang awkward ang lahat and hindi ko pa feel, but I decided to give it a try. Then my feelings for him went back and I was hoping that we could still be together AGAIN. See yan yung sinasabi kong obstacle about this move. Madaling sabihin, pero NAPAKAHIRAP i-execute! So time passes,  and the connection we have remained to be friends. On the process  though, I was still expecting the same agenda. The good thing is, my ex-boyfriend remained true to what he said and gave me bounderies on what we can  and what we cannot do together. The first time kasi kahit hindi na kami eh we still have sex. Sabi nya sa akin, since we decided to be friends again, I expect no sex from and you from me. Fair enough for me to stand. However, due to attachement issues I have, the idea is giving me a hard time. Ang hirap kayang pigilin ng libog lalo na kung alam mong magaling sya (well on that note, this blog is now rated SPG LOL).

As time passes, I began to endure the lust that I feel towards him. Second thing I had worked on to make the “FRIENDSHIP” possible is to control my emotions towards him. Sweet kasi tong taong to, madalas kong napagkakamalan ang sweetness nya bilang isang sign na gusto nya maging kami ulit. So I asked him and said, do you want us to be together again? He said wholeheartedly na “NO. You deserve a better partner than me.” It sunk into me that he was really decided on that “friend relationship agenda.” I then realized that since he is making SO MUCH EFFORT to make the friendship work, ako din dapat eh gumawa ng mga bagay bagay para mawork out eto. It’s really similar to having a romantic relationship work, but the difference is that this does not involve intimate emotion.

At first my hopes on getting back together was fabulously HIGH, but his effort is flawless. I decided to finally get over the idea “NA PWEDING MAGING KAMI ULIT.” Things began to turn over between us. Days went by so easily and comfortably. Madami kaming nagawa na hindi naman nagawa while we were together. Naging masaya kami, and the friendship continues until now. We still hang out together, although ngayon eh di pa kami nagkikita ulit. Hahahaha. But open communication naman na ulit. He updates me about his agenda, kahit ako di masyado sa kanya. Unfair ko noh?! LOL

So for my friends who asked me if two ex lovers could be friends? My answer is: it is possible but only if two of you are willing to work on the friendship. Syempre, you have to set aside those ulterior motives that you had.

Naalala ko yung sinabi sa akin ng bestfriend ko, “The love that you shared with your ex is always gonna be there. It will never be gone. Thing is dapat hindi mo na sya gawing mundo mo. In short, cope up and adjust to the situation.” If you can’t keep him/her as your lover, I guess it’s wouldn’t be that hard to keep him/her as a friend.

Introductory to  “Falling In Love with your Best Friend.”

This is an ideal relation that could possibly upgrade to a romantic connection. Although, thing like friendship could actually be sacrificed. I once fell in love with my bestfriend and he turned me down. He decided to retain the friendship instead. Masakit pero I have to live with it and accept it…….

Friends?! Baka May ULTERIOR MOTIVE?!

We all have our own coping mechanism on things; there are those people who can move on in a snap of a finger. There are those who take forever to realize it’s over. It doesn’t really matter how fast or slow you can cope up. The important thing is you are coping.

                There’s this friend of mine, a GIRL (yes babae sya and she is special to me.) She is undergoing what we call the moving on stage. This stage is somewhat hard, especially the process. I won’t take long explaining the process but here’s a brief order of it for me: DABDA

D – Denial – the stage where you deny the fact that the relationship is over.

A – Anger – you slowly realize what he did, and you get angry.

B – Bargaining – you start to realize that there is still possibilities of being together and you try to bargain.

D – Depression – this stage is where you can be all sorts of stupid.

A – Acceptance – the freedom from all the attachments and feeling you had.

The above description are my own and nothing is official. Haha. In lieu with this friend I have. I have been telling her to adjust on the situation. I have told her na tapusin nya muna ang mga bagay bagay between them. Kasi ang gusto ng ex nya eh maging friends sila. For me that is possible but it’s also bullshit!

               
Again it will only be possible if you are trying to make friends with your ex kung wala na itong ulterior motive na magbalikan kayu ulit. Simple lang naman sagot sa mga bagay bagay eh. “IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY THEN STOP PONDERING ON THINGS THAT MAKES YOU SAD.” Gawin mo kung anu ang dapat, mali man eto sa paningin ng iba, well who cares?! Kung yun ang makakatulong para maibalik ka sa ayos then just go with it.

               
Be blunt with him, be rude with him, it’s alright. We are humans, we all make mistakes, but let’s not make our mistake a definition on who we are. Mahalaga dyan eh, maging okay ka para magpatuloy na maging masaya.

              
Maikli lang po ang buhay, seize every moment para maging masaya ka. Don’t complicate things, and don’t let your emotions eat you up. Be sane!

                It’s really sounds so naïve that you know how you hurt someone and acted like nothing happened. Come on makonsensya ka naman. Nasaktan mo sya, bigyan mo naman sya ng time para magheal bago ka umeksenang maging friends kayu ulit. (Message ko sa ex ng friend ko.)

This is really all I can say about it. I don’t wanna be one sided about the issue. As a matter of fact, gusto ko din malaman yung side nung lulurchips (lalaki) para mabalance ko judgment ko.

“LET’S ALL STAY HAPPY AND FORGET NEGATIVE THINGS.” HAKUNA MATATA….mamatay lahat ng NEGA! CHARAUGHT!

               

The Beginning…

I have been working for 4 years now as a BPO representative. I started this kind of job when I was 18. I wasn’t able to finish the tertiary level of my studies. Although working was fun, it also has times when you feel frustrated about things. I always think na sana eh grumaduate muna ako bago ako nagwork. This has been my only complain to my parents, but I really couldn’t blame them for making me stop college. Biktima kami ng kahirapan, and it would only be selfish of me if I continue college, knowing that my family wouldn’t be able to eat three times a day. So from then on I decided to go and find work.

This is how my call center life started…

I was rehearsing for a cheer dance competition, and then my mother called and asked how I was doing at school. I replied and proudly said that I am seriously making time for my school works while I am in a dance crew at our alma mater. My Mama was so proud of me. The next day my Mama called again,  I greeted her “Happy Birthday Mama!”. She was so amazed at how energetic I was that day. Then she paused and asked me if I could go back to my hometown in Pangasinan. I said “Opo makakababa po ako mamaya dyan, tatapusin ko lang yung rehearsal naming.” At first I was thinking that she would’ve missed me that much that she requested me to go home.

So I went home, I was surprised that they all looked like they are into something really worse. I started to feel weird and awkward seeing their faces like that. I asked them “ Oh! Anu problema nyo bakit kayu parang tnaga? (while laughing). Sabi ni Mama, “kasi ganito yun anak. Nagtry kasi akong mag-apply sa call center work…..” I already had an idea what’s going to happen and said “TAPOS…” She smiled and said, “Hindi ako nakapasa eh.” My dad and brother laughed at my Mama and she joined na din afterwards.

While eating supper, she asked me if I could join her to go to someplace. I said yes! I was clueless where we were going. Then I saw this signage that said “ Now Hiring Agents”. Right there and then it sunk in that she would like me to apply for the post. I was shocked and “ Mama anu ginagawa natin dito? Mag-aapply ka ulit?” She laughed and said “ hindi anak, ikaw ang mag-aapply.” I gazed at her and said “Seryoso ka? Eh panu pag-aaral ko?” she looked at me and said “hihinto ka muna anak, at hindi na natin kaya.” I was speechless and I don’t know what to say. So I thought, sige subukan ko na lang. It was my intention not pass the application process, so I could continue studying (kasi nga naman eh scholar ako ng school that time). While doing the listening test, it hit me that although I wasn’t paying my tuition I would still need to come up with my board and lodging expenses, in which I do not have the liberty to have.

Nagturn over ang decision ko from not passing the application process to at least trying the possibility of the BPO industry. So the process went on and from 70 aspiring candidates, we were down to THREE! Tatlo na lang kaming natira (to think some applicant had experiences from other BPO companies huh.)

I was on my final interview and this American guy who was interviewing me was so handsome. He is a drop dead gorgeous almost demigod ang dating ni kuya. I smiled at him and he began asking  me questions. We went on and on, then it was done. He said “We will just call you to confirm if you got the ob or not.”

I was still hoping na sana hindi ako makuha sa work. So we head back home, my mom asked me to go back to Baguio and packed all my things.

So I did, and said all my goodbyes to my friends and professors. After that natanggap ko na yung confirmation and my schedule contract signing. It was September 18, 2008, they scheduled me to have my contract signing at September 23, 2008. Good thing na ganun yung nangyari kasi it was my 18^th birthday nung 09/22/2008.

Ibig sabihin lang nun eh on the first day of my 18^th year as a person living on this planet eh I had my very first exclusive contract at a BPO Company in Pampanga. There…. So it began…

Paglisan

I am really hurt with what is happening around me. This is a very sudden change in my life. I hope it is for the better. Trying to be strong.

ONE LOVE and Mister J!

Well, as of now eh wala talaga akong mahita sa creative juice ko kaya hindi ako nag uupdate ng blog ko. Pero nang dahil sa tag ng isang friend kong si Mark Joe (thelastinnocentman.blogspot.com) na may instant promotion sa blog na to. Hahahah.. Oh nang dahil nga sa kanyang tag eh eto ako ngayon gumagawa ng blog about his questions.

Question and Answer ang peg nya kaya sige patulan na. Hahaha. At ang background song sa netshop to ay "Highway to HELL" What the heck???? LOL.. I'm on a highway to hell.. Yeah! Peg ko ang tugtug.. LOL

Magkukwento muna ako bago ako sumagot sa tanung mo. As my title goes, conceited ang blog na toh. About sa akin lahat.. Ako na! LOL.

Simulan ang kwento.

May kinalaman eto dun sa Dancing in Pain ko na blog. Remember nung pinilit kong sumali sa Cheerdance ekbalo ng aming companya. Dun nagsimula etong lahat. Sumali kasi ako dahil may bet akong lulur chips na kasali din ang name nya ay Charleston! Name pa lang lalaking lalaki na! Oo straight sya, pero kiber! Magalalandi ako. Yun na.. Hahahaha..

SO habang nag prapractice kami may napansin ako sa isang kong kasma. Medyo pa girl tong si bilat. Eh normally naman becking becky si atchi. At na confirm ko na pati sya pala eh bet nya etong si #ONELOVE. SO ayun umamin din si atchi sa akin na bet nga nya. Affirmative! So ang laro eh makascore ng pasimple sa kanya.

Ayun si atchi nagpapansin, sayaw ng sayaw. Medyo Napansin naman sya. Pero ako kinabog ko si atchi dahil sya ang lumapit at nakiinum sa baso ko.. Nakita ko ni atchi, nanggagalaiti si atchi.. 1 point na lahat!

Sumunod na eksena, may nagdala ng silvanas sa rehearsal area. So since close kami nung tao, binigyan nya ako ng isa. At alam nyo ginawa ko? Nilapitan ko si ONE LOVE at sinubuan....
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Ng Silvanas of course. Napansin eto ni Atchi. At lumapit at sinabing "IKAW na!" Oo ako na nga. Hahahahaha.


Fast forward..

Tapos na ang competition ng Cheerdance Keme ng companya. Time to go ika nga. Inimbita ako ni ONE LOVE sa house nila at nag inuman. Pero walang nangyari panu naman kasi may jowa pala sya.. SO mejo jealousy mode ako.. Hahahaha.. Bakit nga ba one love tawag ko sa kanya.. Kasi yung tatto nya sa arms eh one love nakalagay.. TAPOS!


PRESENTING: Mister J. Kasama ko din sya sa Cheerdance keme. Isa syang silent type na tao. Tahimik pero cute naman in fairness. Nilalandi ko sya ng pahapyaw during rehearsal kasi nga ang concentration eh kay ONE LOVE. Etong si Mister J eh gumaganti sa lahat ng banat at mejo touchy touchy si kuya. Ako naman sige lang ng sige. Kinikilig a bit but I wish si ONE LOVE na lang yun. Tapos biglang one time lumindat sya sa akin at nag smile. So speechless ako. Hindi ako nakareact. Waaaahh.. Mukhang may gusto sya sa akin.. LOL

Kahapon! Lunes, fresh pa lahat ng pangyayari. Magka email ang group about what happen on the competition. SO si Mister J hindi gaanong nagrereply kasi nga dedicated agent sya.. LOL..

I have decided  to PM him. Nagulat ako nagreply agad. Ayun mejo mejo nacoconfirm ko na sya ay may gusto talaga. Then our conversation is filled with flowery words about each other. Nariyan pa yang napakwento sya about himself. OH close na agad ang peg. Kinikilig pa din ako hanggang ngayon. Hahaha

Eto last kung email sa kanya bago umalis ng opisina. Sabi ko" Simula ngayon Baby na kita, wala ka nang magagawa,." Secret lang natin wag ka mag alala.. hahaha..

Since out na ako sa opisina, sinadya ko naman sya sa station nya. Kinalabit ko sa batok as I always do. bigla ba namang hinawakan ang kamay ko at nag apologize for not replying right away. Ang lola nyo kulang na lang mag faint! WAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Sana lang talaga tuloy tuloy na toh.. Hihihihihi

Eto na ang Q&A portion:

11 QUESTIONS FOR MY TAGGED FRIENDS


Please enumerate the 204 sovereign states in the world and their capital cities. Joke lang, ang tanong eh How are you?

Keri naman ako medyo masaya naman. Simula nung umalis ka mark Joe! Lol

Are you still a virgin?

Oh YES! Sa bababe nga lang! LOL..

Do you believe in reincarnation?

Sure do! Feeling ko eh isa akong dyosa dati na nagkatawang lupa na!

What is the essence of being gay?

Being Happy! Being yourself no matter how hard it is to live in this world. Ipakita mo kung sinu ka talaga. Wala na yang takot takot. malapit na end of the world according to Mayan Calendar! LOL

If you could become an animal for 1 day, What animal would you be? Why?

Bird! I really wan to fly! Serious to! I want to see the world in a Bird's eye view!

Where is the most beautiful place in the Philippines?

Sa Baguio kasi malamig at mababait ang tao. Pero okay din naman sa kahit saan dito wag lang dun sa lugar na marahas.. Hahahaha

How many friends do you have in facebook?

About 699 round it up, marami apa akong hindi naadd na friends jan... hahahaha

Which would you rather have, beauty or brains? Explain.

Brains and good personality. maganda ka nga wala ka namang alam, wala ka din pupuntahan kundi sa clubhouse bagsak mo jan. Hindi ko dinidescrimnate ang mga pokpok ah.. Basta mas maganda pa din yung may knowledge ka at may manners. Yun ang point of view ko.

Fight or flight? Bawal ang It depends.

Flight! I want to go abroad! LOL.. HIndi ko man naintindihan to.. hahahaha

Kung kasali ka sa Survivor Philippines, ano yung 2 essential things na dadalhin mo?

Mahirap to ah..... Nanay at tatay ko.. Hahahaha.. Family oriented much!

Aside from English and Filipino, do you speak any other languages? Please enumerate if there are any.


Wala na! Dialects lang alam ko! Hahahaha.. To clarify hindi ako linguist.. hahahaha




O yan huh.. Nasagot ko na lahat.. 

Stranger Danger

After I have posted "Sonny Boy" I went home for tulog purposes. Eh di syempre dahil nga ang out ko eh 3 AM in the morning, malamang sa malamang nyan na madaling araw pa din nun.

 

So while  I was walking going home, tumigil ako saglit at nagtweet na matutulog na ako. Nasa harap ako ng Hotel 45 kasi nga walang signal dun sa apartment namin. I was somking while tweeting. Then all of a sudden came a stranger with this line on hand "Are we GOOD?" So napatingin ako at napatanga. Medyo kinabahan ako sa kanya, but he asked me another question sabi eh "should we smoke somewhere else?" 

 

Eto na, medyo nagsink in sa akin na madaling araw pa lang nun mgapanahong yun. So naisip ko na baka he taught that I am some kind of a "Call Boy". Indeed hindi sya nagkamali. Call boy nga ako, pero I am an expert in taking calls not that type of call boy you think. So when I got myself composed again, sabi ko sa kanya "I'm sorry, I guess you are supposed to be meeting someone here and you have mistaken me to be that person." Well, napaka-mouthful lang ng ibinato kong linya sa kanya. Hahahaha

 

Ang banat nya pabalik eh "No. I am not meeting anyone here." Then I told him bluntly na "Sorry I am BUSY." Tapos nagtanung nanaman sya " why are you busy?" (kulit much? LOL)

 

Nagwalk out na ako. Tapos sa awa naman ng dyos eh hindi ako sinundan. I swear those minutes are the scariest I had in years.

 

Tapos after I slept, diretso na ako ng dance rehearsal namin. Biglang akong tinanung kung kamusta naman daw ang "Stranger in the night" ng co-dancer ko. Tapos yun kinwento ko. Nakalimutan ko tinweet ko pa pala bago ako matulog. Hahaha

Sonny Boy

Syempre bago matulog blog muna ako.. Hehehehe Dahil wala pa akong sariling PC sa bahay dumayo muna ako dito sa Blink netshop dito sa may Session Road. Gusto ko sanang magblog about something interesting, pero etong si "Kuya Sonny" (sya ang tagabantay ng shop) caught my attention. He is just jolly and nice.

Una ko syang nakita dito din sya shop. May kasama akong bilat (girl) nun. Actually kasama ko ulit sya ngayon. Hahaha. Yun na nga nakita namin ton si "Kuya Sonny" dito sa shop (paulit ulit much) nung pauwi na kami magbabayad na kasi kami nun, so tinanung namin sya kung magkanu lahat yung charge. Then he said "30 po!" Sabi ko naman sa kasama ko "O! Alam na! Bayad ka na teh!"

Biglang tumawa tong si Sonny Boy. Ang cute lang ng braces ni Koooyaaa.. Hahahahaha.. Sana BRACES na lang sya! LOL. Nandito na ulit ako sa netshop, para gumawa ng interesting na blog. Kaso tong si Kuya SOnny ang kulit. Parang ngayon lang kami nag usap eh kung makatawag ng mataba ako.. WAGAS!!

I swear! Ang gaan ng loob ko sa kanya. Kasalukuyan syang kumakain ng Bangus dito sa tabi. Oh di ba! Close agad. Na add ko na sya agad sa FB! Wahahaha.. Para paraan moments. LOL Parang I want to get to know him better. He also know that I am writing about him sa blog ko. Grabe severe ang tawa ko dito sa taong toh! Ambilis nyang makagood vibes. Wapak! Kuya SOnny you made my day!!!

Eto ang sinasabi nya sa akin habang ginagawa ko tong blog. "Gutom ka na noh? Gusto mo kumain?" Anu ako alagang isda o pusa o dog? Eto pa isa! Dumating ang truck ng basura habang bumubusina. Ang sabi ni Kuya eh "Anjan na SUNDO mo!" Grabe ka talaga kuya.. Kahit ganyan itsura mo, I might take the risk. Hindi po sya ang nasa litrato. Yan po ang lumabas sa google image nung sinearch ko ang "Sonny Boy."

Napost ko na tong nlog may hirit pa sya! Tuloy napa edit ako. Tinanung ko kung may 1 hour na kami (nga pala tong kasama kong bilat eh parang tood while watching Maria La Del Barrio on youtube. LOL ) sabi " Wala pa.. Kaw naman ang kuripot mo." So explain naman ako na kelangan ko pang matulog kasi may dance rehearsal pa ako. Ang sabi ba naman eh "Ikaw sumasayaw?" na may kasama pang sacastic face. Hahahahah.. Ikaw na ang GOOD VIBES SONNY BOY!

Dancing in Pain

I am a dancer! I love dancing! I started dancing when I was 7 years old. This is one thing I do best, and I had won some little prizes from little competitions. So what I'm saying really is that "Dancing is my Passion". It saved me from a lot of trouble. It has inspired me to be better and made me do things I never thought possible. It encouraged me to be brave. It also taught me how to follow rhythm and gracefully execute movements and expressions. This also goes with how I handle life's difficult situations. I emulate my dancing on how I reason and how I react to certain things.

I am currently working at a BPO organization here at Baguio city. This company offers a lot of activities to promote employee camaraderie. Because of these actitivities my colleagues decided to form a "Dance Crew" to have entertainment whenever needed. Oh! By the way, these colleagues of mine were my co-dancers way back college. So in short, we share same passion and love for dancing.

We have showcased different dances and dance routines on company events. This make me thinks that even while you are working, fun could still be present.

Dancing in Pain. Bakit nga ba eto ang title ko? This is because of some recent events. As stated on my previous blog, I was hospitalized. I really was sad by then because of recent life events, but one thing that made me regret for being sick is the "Inter- BPO Cheerdance Competition". Of course, I really wanted to be part of the routine. However, due to some absurd health conditions I may not be able to join. So the group started choreographing the routine. Dancer are all complete (which means that I really won't have a spot even if I am okay to dance).

Three days before the competition, I heard that 3 Dancers backed out from the crew. Although I am more than willing to showcase my talent I am hindered by my health condition. I am really frustrated.

Then, I asked for a sign if I can still dance. The sign was given and my heart felt joyous. So I approached the group and told them if I can join them. Dali dali naman silang nagsabi na "Kasali ka na kaya! Wala yang scolio-scoliosis mo na yan!" then they all laughed.

So eto na nga. Nagsimula na akong magcatch up with their routine. Nakuha ko naman agad yung steps, kasi nga yung iba eh excerpt from our previous dances. Pero nung nagqueue music na kami eh para akong batang nakatanga. Hindi ako nakadaloy sa flow of events. Tinry to ko naman na humabol sa pace nila pero ulit ulit pa rin akong nagkakamali. Tawa kami ng tawa kasi nga ang gulo gulo ko. Eh pasensya naman di ba, unang araw ko at ang daming kailangan i memorize at habulin. hay grabe tong experience ko na toh. Hindi ako sanay na ako yung humahabol sa routine. Usually kasi ako ang unang tinuturuan para magturo sa iba. But in this case eh baliktad. Culture shock talaga ang peg ko sa panahong eto.. Hahahaha.. Tawa man ako ng tawa pero nahihiya pa rin ako sa group kasi nga everytime na mag ulit eh dahil sa akin. Such a shame right! I know right! Hahahaha...

Anyhow, apart from my pain in not being able to catch the steps right away eh, yung binti ko masakit, yung shoulders ko din masakit.. Parang bang na-gang rape ang feeling. Gumising ako kanina dahill sa alarma clock ko, sabi ng utak ko sa akin eh "Hindi mo kayang tumayu!" Pumikit ulit ako at feeling ko eh hindi na ako mumulat muli kasi nga sobrang pagod ko. Biruin mo naman kasi mula alas tres ng madaling araw hanggang ala una ng umaga eh sumasayaw ako para makahabol. AKO NA!!! AKO NA TALAGA!!!! Hahahahaha..

But everytime umaray ako sa sakit ng katawan ko ngayon eh I smile. Because this pain is the pain of my passion for dancing! Keep dancing like there's no one watching. Motto ko yan! "Wah Pakels!" sabi nga din ng friend ko.

The competition will be this upcoming Saturday na! Pressure naman tong two days catching up ko! Goodluck sa akin! Wahahahaha..

Absenteeism

Absenteeism is a habitual pattern of absence from a duty or obligation. Traditionally, absenteeism has been viewed as an indicator of poor individual performance, as well as a breach of an implicit contract between employee and employer; it was seen as a management problem, and framed in economic or quasi-economic terms. More recent scholarship seeks to understand absenteeism as an indicator of psychological, medical, or social adjustment to work. (Thanks to Wikipedia)

Abesenteeism has always been an issue. Sa school man yan, sa trabaho o sa pagboto ng bagong mga officials ng bansa. Maski nga latest Supreme Court trial eh may mga umaabsent din. Anyways, I just had a talk with one of my manager about me being abset for one week from work. Ganito kasi ang nangyari kung bakit ako hindi nakapasok ng trabaho.

Namatay ang lolo ko, so after ng work week eh umuwi ako sa probinsya namin para makilamay. Ngunit pagbaba ko pa lang ng bus eh hindi na ako makahinga, at pagdating ko ng aming tahanan eh muntik akong matumba. So at first inignore ko muna (feeling ko kasi buntis ako, CHOS!) ngunit patuloy pa rin ang aking pagkahilo at hirap sa paghinga. Dumating ang tatay ko galing sa palengke, I told him na punta kami ng hospital para sana matignan ako. Ang tatay ko imbes na maconcern sa nararamdaman ko eh pinagalitan pa ako dahil daw uuwi na nga lang ako eh may sakit pa ako.

So syempre mainit na ulo naming dalawa, nung nasa tricycle na sya at ineexpect akong sumakay na, alam nyong ginawa ko? nag walk out ako at lumarga sa hospital na 1 hour away from our town. So pagdating ko nga hospital:

Sa Information:

Nurse: Anu po yun?
Ako: Magapapa-confine po.
Nurse: Sinu?
Ako: Ako po.
Nurse: Ngumiti (cute sya at sarcastic ang ngiti)
Ako: Ngumiti pabalik.
Nurse: Pa fill out po ng form at proceed po sa Minor OR.
Ako: Okay po. (habang kinikilig)

So chineck na nila ang vitals ko, tapos ECG tapos X-Ray. Then admitted na ako. After ko ma-admit my mom called from Malaysia. nagsumbong pala si Papa sa kanya. haha. Then I ask my mom to send papa to the hospital and bring some clothes.

Nakangiting dumating ang tatay ko kasama ang aking li'l brother.

Papa: Akala ko nasa ward ka.
Ako: Hindi ah kasama naman sa Health Card namin ang confinement eh.
Papa: Oh okay. Dapat pala T-Shirt dinala ko naka AC pala tong room.
Ako: Hahahahaha

So after several medication, dumating ang doctor. Ampogi nya!!!! Tapos ang diagnosis eh "Mild Scoliosis". Monday came and I got discharged. Diretso na sa lamay ng lolo ko. Ang daming tao nandun lahat ng sisters ni Mama except sya kasi nga hindi sya pweding umalis while working her Visa. So sige mingle mingle with relatives while watching lolo's wake. Nilibing si Lolo ng Wednesday ng umaga. Eto na ang complications...

Pagkatapos ng libing eh I received a text message from our POC asking why I did not call in. Sabi ko naman nagpaalam na kaya ako. Sabi nila eh hindi kaya. Naguluhan na ako at parang ayaw ko nang pumasok ulit ng trabaho.

So I chatted with my mom. I told her na I will be resigning na kasi tatanggalin din naman nila ako sa work.

Mama: bakit?
Ako: kasi nga daw hindi naaprove yung leaves ko
Mama: Akala ko ba approved na?
Ako: Hindi nga daw.
Mama: Anak hintayin mo na lang nan tanggalin ka nila kesa ikaw ang umalis. Kasi sabi sa Feng Shui malas daw ang mag change ng work for this year para sa Zodiac mo.
Ako: Wow! Feng Shui talaga? hahaha
Mama: Nama!

So I finally got back to work. I was handed yesterday a written warning about my violations. I signed it and bounced it back to my POC. Today my Manager talked to me about my comment on the written warning. She said that I am letting my emotions get into me too much. Then I realized na tama nga sya. I told her na I need to work on that. So she smiled and said sayang talaga you're a potential pa naman. Work on that and have this warning slide back. Then I smiled and nodded.

Lesson, try not to let your emotions get into you so much and attend to your responsibilities no matter how crucial the situation is. Grabe huh ang daming moral ng araw na toh. Whoah, it's not everyday that I get all these feedback and realizeation. I love this day!

Mystery Someone

Most of the time I am alone. I enjoy the company of others and pretty much I'm also sociable. But most of the times I rather be alone and think of things on my own. Maybe it's just my persnality and there are also those cases that I prefer doing things alone.

Sometime, I go to the movie house alone. I eat at a restaurant alone. I go to church alone. Maybe I'm an intorvert? Or maybe I am just fond of doing things on my own. I also have many friends and acquaintances. But only few of them I trust. I may have got some trust issues from my childhood (childhood trauma siguro?). My childhood will be the next topic on my blog.

Yesterday, I was walking alone (again) at Session Road after long hours of taking calls. This made me relax a bit, and made me wander how nice it will be to have someone to be with you on these instances. Sayang masyado kasing closed yung mind and heart ko lately into entering a relationship or even mingling with others. I really need to work on things and my personality as well.

Minsan kasi feeling ko wala na talagang taong makakaintindi sa akin. Yung feeling na kinaawaan mo masyado ang sarili mo. Self pity has been an issue also, but I am working on having that gone. Hindi ko sinisisi ang ibang tao sa nararamdaman ko kasi nga naman eh choice ko na pumasok sa mga sitwasyong ganun (again another blog topic).

Masaya naman na ako ngayon. Mending a broken heart ang drama ko.Hahahaha. I must say that I have learned a lot and this experience is treasured. Moving forward, I promise to be more careful with things involving my emotions. Mahirap masaktan, lalo na kung nagmamahal ka ng lubos at wagas. Pero "If it's not meant to be, it won't really work". Dadarating din ang taong magbibigay ng panibagong misteryo at kilig sa buhay ko. I just really hope that he will be around SOON!

Ang Puso ko.

Now since closed ang session at maraming tao sa labas ng apartment ko, mag uupdate muna ako ng blog ko.

Guys, sobrang tagal ng nung una akong nagblog. Magkukwento muna ako ng mga EXPERIENCES ko about love.

Hanggang ngayon naiisip ko pa din ang hirap at hinagpis na nadama ko nung tinurn down mo ako. Heto ako ngayon pinipilit bumangon sa isang masalimuot na nakaraan. Isa ka sa mga taong lubos kong minahal ngunit hindi nanaman nasuklian. Lagi kong tinatanung ang sarili ko kung anung mali sa akin. Pero wala talaga akong makita (wow conceited ang peg ng lola mo). Lagi kitang naiisip, lagi kitang gustong kasama ngunit hindi pwedi, kasi nga sabi mo sa akin eh hindi ako partner material at masyado akong bata (age doesn't matter pala huh?!).

Sobra sobrang heart ache ang inabot ko sayu. Pero sabi mo nga sa akin eh darating ang araw tatawanan ko lang din tong lahat (grabe abisuhan mo talaga akong tawanan ko nararamdaman ko sayu di ba?). Well anyways, mukhang yung panahon na binanggit mo sa akin dumating na.

Hindi na kita masyadong naiisip. Hindi na rin kita gaanong hinahanap. Mahal pa rin kita hindi magbabago yun, pero ang mahalaga sa akin ngayon ay ang pansarili kong kaligayahan (conceited much).

Tama na nga yang Heart Ache portion na yan!

Eto na lang! Action plan ko para magkalovelife:

1. Lumandi.
2. Kumerengkeng
3. Pumampam
4. Lumandi to the highest level.

Ewan ko lang kung paano ko gagawin yan mga yan. (Pavirgin much). Hindi pa rin ako inaantok. Waahhh...

Sa mga bloggers jan, anu sa tingin nyo ang dapat gawin ng isang tulad ko para magkalovelife?

Let me tell you something about myself muna bago kayu mag-abiso.

Ako po ay 21 years olad na iisa pa lang ang aking naging jowa, at ako po ay napakapihikang nilalang. Hindi po ako tumitingin sa itsura ng tao. I go for the personality. Naniniwala kasi ako na hindi naman itsura ang pakikisamahan mo kung di yung ugali. Pero halos lahat ng hindi gaanong gwapong lalaking nagustuhan ko eh ginusto ako. Ang labas eh mas choosy pa sila sa akin. Hahahaha.. O yan huh! Payu na mga kapatid.